Sunday, April 6, 2014
It has been a very long time since I blogged about anything in my life and I believe the moment has come to end my writer's block. I would like to write about this beautiful weekend. I'm in mumbai this weekend as I have joined a new place of work. I stay confined to the four walls of the guest house at Malad and its extremely depressing to kill time in the guest house. So, how did I kill the boredom? Thanks to Neel, my super awesome friend who lives at Goregaon.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Random scribblings
There is a magical feel of renewed hope which I know for sure could go deep into a pit again. its just matter of time before I come to terms with accepting harsh reality.
Life has been very good to me from day 1 of my life. But, I was the problem and I failed to appreciate the beauty of life. there have been innumerable number of trials and tribulations in my life and they do have its own impact on me. But, that shouldn't be deterring me from appreciating the beauty of god's work in my life. In retrospective, I do realise that I have never been
able to follow Jesus as I as much as I would love to follow him for so many reasons.
I find myself a stupid that I don't travel in sync with his plans for my life and keep complaining that he doesn't heed to my plans for my life. I see so many great human beings around me
who did great things for Christ like the blessed mother Theresa. I'm ashamed for having not changed my life to tune with his plans for me. its a misery by itself.
I have unusual amount of optimism in life when it comes to things that are very close to my heart. most often, this optimism does fail by a huge margin.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Boredom and Bliss :)
Offlate, I am struck hard by the disease called Boredom and anxiety. I remember one of the scholars of Postmodern thought call 'Anxiety' as the disease of the century. Yeah. I completely agree to what he says. I am suffering from anxiety disorder due to several reasons. One primary reason that fuels this disease is boredom. Boredom has often been a topic of debate.
"An idle mind is a devil's workshp" is an adage. Though I may not subscribe to the fact that is devil's workshop but I strongly feel that there should never be an idle mind. There should never be a empty space that cud be used by any external force to act on you.
So, getting to the point. Is my mind idle? I tried a huddle with the various faculties of my mind and body to find what exactly is happening inside me. As expected they could not find the answer. I did deliberate a bit more on this and then realized that my mind has transcended beyond the physical realms of life. It has started dwelling completely in the metaphysical arena.
Many of my frens laugh at the very use of the word metaphysics in all my blog entries. But they fail to understand that its 'metaphysics' and my belief in metaphysics that keeps me going. So, even at a metaphysical level am I bored? The outright answer to this question is an emphatic 'NO'
So in the metaphysical realm of mind, I am occupied with something that offers me million reasons to smile. Its an entity that is beyond human expression. I would rather fail if I attempt to capture it with words. Also, one simple reason that makes me admire that entity is that it never allows me to comprehend it how much ever I may try to .
There is a lot of conversations that go inside the metaphysical realm of my mind. There are lots of arguments, there are lots of struggle, stifles etc. But, there is never disharmony as one may expect. Rather, its mere bliss. Its bliss that reins supreme even in the most turbulent state of mind.
Bliss :)
"An idle mind is a devil's workshp" is an adage. Though I may not subscribe to the fact that is devil's workshop but I strongly feel that there should never be an idle mind. There should never be a empty space that cud be used by any external force to act on you.
So, getting to the point. Is my mind idle? I tried a huddle with the various faculties of my mind and body to find what exactly is happening inside me. As expected they could not find the answer. I did deliberate a bit more on this and then realized that my mind has transcended beyond the physical realms of life. It has started dwelling completely in the metaphysical arena.
Many of my frens laugh at the very use of the word metaphysics in all my blog entries. But they fail to understand that its 'metaphysics' and my belief in metaphysics that keeps me going. So, even at a metaphysical level am I bored? The outright answer to this question is an emphatic 'NO'
So in the metaphysical realm of mind, I am occupied with something that offers me million reasons to smile. Its an entity that is beyond human expression. I would rather fail if I attempt to capture it with words. Also, one simple reason that makes me admire that entity is that it never allows me to comprehend it how much ever I may try to .
There is a lot of conversations that go inside the metaphysical realm of my mind. There are lots of arguments, there are lots of struggle, stifles etc. But, there is never disharmony as one may expect. Rather, its mere bliss. Its bliss that reins supreme even in the most turbulent state of mind.
Bliss :)
Monday, September 27, 2010
Memoirs of Madras :) :) :)
Some find Bombay to be the city of their dreams, some find Bangalore, some Delhi, but for me its one and only Madras. This was not just a place but a part of my life. A place that redefined my life and got so many that was latent in me until then. I live with a group of people who just hate Chennai for its attributes like climate, govt set up, however nothing can shake the strong emotional bond I share with Chennai. Chennai, for instance, was rechristened from its original name of Madras due to some issues of unexplainable logic. I prefer to call it Madras over Chennai.
Lemme try and capture the reasons that make madras, second closest city to my heart. To get started, its not my native place. My native is Trichy. However,from early childhood, Madras has been an integral part of my life due to my relatives who are mostly based out of that place. During summer hols, every year, while was a kid, I use to visit that place and started falling in love with that place. However, those were very kiddish fantasies like playing, visit the beach, go to Zoo, go to the planetarium for a show and the like. However, during my later years of formation, I realized that this place has a lot to offer beyond the kiddish fantasies of life.
I must use the phrase, I was 'growing up' in life when my strong encounter with this place started on a more serious note. It was the summer of 2004 when I completed schooling and was getting geared to enter into the next phase of life, Loyola College, Chennai. We as a family studied in Loyola like my dad, uncles, cousins etc. So, I was naturally inclined to go to Loyola and pursue my dream subject Economics, despite the fact that I was a science student at School with 94 % in the final exams. For strange reasons, dad was not so keen about my relocation to Chennai and was insistent to continue studies at St Joseph's College, Trichy. However, after a long and thorough debate and after winning the backing of sister and other relatives, I was succesfull in persuading dad to allow me to go to Madras.
I am a dreamer and I was a dreamer then. I use to dream about life in Loyola before joining college. Finally, I joined Loyola. :) However, i was not given Economics due to Madras Uni regulations. However, i was given my second preference and luv, Sociology. From that moment my life was transformed to greater heights. Madras, helped me to realize that I had something in me and several times, reassured my faith in me. College was a great place to be in. Hostel was yet another marvel that helped my growth in several ways.
The most important twist or rather fortune took place in the second year of my life in college. This will involve a bit of metaphysics. Those were the most happiest and glorious days of my life. There is an unique reason that strengthened my bond with madras, however, the reason discontinued itself from my life. However, its worth mentioning the importance of that particular factor and the impact of that factor in my life for the years to come.
Now coming to the 3 day hol in Chennai. Beautiful 3 days of time in Chennai. My clock has never ticked so fast like how it did in Chennai. Wish I feel the same in College so that the boring lectures run away fast :P . I took the bus to Chennai on Thursday night 10.30 PM and reached Chennai at 6 o clock in the morning. Reached Aunt's place and then as usual relaxed( slept like a pig :D). Then i was greeted with the most aromatic Madras Filter coffee, which I rate as number one. Followed by a grand king size breakfast of Pongal and vadai - Typical Madras style. :)
Did all the catching ups with all the family members and started planning the day. All the agenda items included meeting a fren or the other. In the meantime sister had come to meet me and we discussed all the plans regarding the new flat "BETHEL". The next day dad came down to madras from Trichy. This day was spent primarily visiting the site of BETHEL and doing the legal documentation regarding the new flat. Had high quality discussion with dad and sister on a range of issues. Then came the final day viz sunday. we three went out to meet a relative and took her out for lunch. This was one of the best places that offer Aappam in Chennai. Its named 'Nalas Aappa kadai". Belted food there and then got back home around 4 ish in the evening.
In the evening I was shocked to see my return ticket to be not usable as it was incorrectly booked for a date that was already over. So, had to rush to the bus station and then fight with many standing in the queue to get a ticket done. What a drama it was. :) Then at night 10 I started to Bangalore and dad left to Trichy.
To sum up, Madras means a lot of emotions to me. The place has seen the best of my emotions and the worst as well. :)
Lemme try and capture the reasons that make madras, second closest city to my heart. To get started, its not my native place. My native is Trichy. However,from early childhood, Madras has been an integral part of my life due to my relatives who are mostly based out of that place. During summer hols, every year, while was a kid, I use to visit that place and started falling in love with that place. However, those were very kiddish fantasies like playing, visit the beach, go to Zoo, go to the planetarium for a show and the like. However, during my later years of formation, I realized that this place has a lot to offer beyond the kiddish fantasies of life.
I must use the phrase, I was 'growing up' in life when my strong encounter with this place started on a more serious note. It was the summer of 2004 when I completed schooling and was getting geared to enter into the next phase of life, Loyola College, Chennai. We as a family studied in Loyola like my dad, uncles, cousins etc. So, I was naturally inclined to go to Loyola and pursue my dream subject Economics, despite the fact that I was a science student at School with 94 % in the final exams. For strange reasons, dad was not so keen about my relocation to Chennai and was insistent to continue studies at St Joseph's College, Trichy. However, after a long and thorough debate and after winning the backing of sister and other relatives, I was succesfull in persuading dad to allow me to go to Madras.
I am a dreamer and I was a dreamer then. I use to dream about life in Loyola before joining college. Finally, I joined Loyola. :) However, i was not given Economics due to Madras Uni regulations. However, i was given my second preference and luv, Sociology. From that moment my life was transformed to greater heights. Madras, helped me to realize that I had something in me and several times, reassured my faith in me. College was a great place to be in. Hostel was yet another marvel that helped my growth in several ways.
The most important twist or rather fortune took place in the second year of my life in college. This will involve a bit of metaphysics. Those were the most happiest and glorious days of my life. There is an unique reason that strengthened my bond with madras, however, the reason discontinued itself from my life. However, its worth mentioning the importance of that particular factor and the impact of that factor in my life for the years to come.
Now coming to the 3 day hol in Chennai. Beautiful 3 days of time in Chennai. My clock has never ticked so fast like how it did in Chennai. Wish I feel the same in College so that the boring lectures run away fast :P . I took the bus to Chennai on Thursday night 10.30 PM and reached Chennai at 6 o clock in the morning. Reached Aunt's place and then as usual relaxed( slept like a pig :D). Then i was greeted with the most aromatic Madras Filter coffee, which I rate as number one. Followed by a grand king size breakfast of Pongal and vadai - Typical Madras style. :)
Did all the catching ups with all the family members and started planning the day. All the agenda items included meeting a fren or the other. In the meantime sister had come to meet me and we discussed all the plans regarding the new flat "BETHEL". The next day dad came down to madras from Trichy. This day was spent primarily visiting the site of BETHEL and doing the legal documentation regarding the new flat. Had high quality discussion with dad and sister on a range of issues. Then came the final day viz sunday. we three went out to meet a relative and took her out for lunch. This was one of the best places that offer Aappam in Chennai. Its named 'Nalas Aappa kadai". Belted food there and then got back home around 4 ish in the evening.
In the evening I was shocked to see my return ticket to be not usable as it was incorrectly booked for a date that was already over. So, had to rush to the bus station and then fight with many standing in the queue to get a ticket done. What a drama it was. :) Then at night 10 I started to Bangalore and dad left to Trichy.
To sum up, Madras means a lot of emotions to me. The place has seen the best of my emotions and the worst as well. :)
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Super Sunday :)
What a wonderful day it has been. A day that started on a very sombre note took serious turns when I started cooking. the menu for the day was Chicken Briyani, Chicken gravy, Drumstick and potato Sambhar, rice, lassi. Last evening was a very nice evening owing to MAGNIFICAT - an amazing time of blessing and communication with God. However, as I got back home I wasn't greeted by good moves that were happening. The events were sick in the night that brought my spirit down. However, the dawn was ready to offer several positives. Life is always like that. Hopes are juxtaposed with despair. :)
A quiet hectic day i must say. But nevertheless, a wonderful day as its a bliss to host guests at home. The pleasure of cooking makes u forget any amount of issues going inside your mind and helps get rid of boredom. First, me and Kenz went out to Neelsandra to buy the groceries needed to make the lunch. And after coming back from neelsandra, got into the act straight away. A wonderful recipe for briyani was ready to be done. I am not sure if it turned out to be great :P I leave it to the choice of people who had tasted it. :D
Had to do too many things and the constraints of just two burners in the stove made things get delayed. But, I must appreciate the patience of Shiny, Tush , Ashwini, and the others who were not able to make it :) They deserve a round of applause. :) Dont they? Also, its worth mentioning here about people who were not able to make it to the lunch. I still feel they were very much a part of the lunch. Appreciate them :)
The lunch was served in a phased manner. as there were some dishes being made in the kitchen when the finished dishes were being served. A big thank you to all who made this day a grand success. they need a big pat on the back. I am glad that am able to send some food back to hostel for peeps to taste the dishes.
A quiet hectic day i must say. But nevertheless, a wonderful day as its a bliss to host guests at home. The pleasure of cooking makes u forget any amount of issues going inside your mind and helps get rid of boredom. First, me and Kenz went out to Neelsandra to buy the groceries needed to make the lunch. And after coming back from neelsandra, got into the act straight away. A wonderful recipe for briyani was ready to be done. I am not sure if it turned out to be great :P I leave it to the choice of people who had tasted it. :D
Had to do too many things and the constraints of just two burners in the stove made things get delayed. But, I must appreciate the patience of Shiny, Tush , Ashwini, and the others who were not able to make it :) They deserve a round of applause. :) Dont they? Also, its worth mentioning here about people who were not able to make it to the lunch. I still feel they were very much a part of the lunch. Appreciate them :)
The lunch was served in a phased manner. as there were some dishes being made in the kitchen when the finished dishes were being served. A big thank you to all who made this day a grand success. they need a big pat on the back. I am glad that am able to send some food back to hostel for peeps to taste the dishes.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Bliss :)
Life offers unlimited surprises. Some surprises bring a smile on your face but some can do the opposite. However, this evening has been a fantabulous one and I was full on smiling today. Yeah. For some time I have been thinking that I am unlucky at times as many things just don’t work my way. But, today was a different day. A day of different emotions, a day to be remembered for reasons of joy. I think it’s the beginning of the season of happiness that’s lying ahead in hand’s reach.
Once again it all started in a totally unanticipated way. I was as usual at my lazy best all throughout the day. Then, For some reason i was getting geared to go to college. My roommate had asked me to bring his camera for the teacher’s day function that was held at college. So, I got ready and left to college. At college, did some errand jobs to make the stage ready for the teachers day function and then this surprise comes up.
My close frens had shared about my FOCUS with this fren in the freshman year of college. Lets call him “Goodwill Angel”, in short GA. GA was at his best to help things happen the way my heart wished. Me, Bhris and Taria and a few other frens were standing down and blossom comes down after a gruelling session of class. GA started introducing her to us and everyone just couldn’t control their laughter for very obvious reasons.
Also, me being a great master of Goof ups, once again was at my best in goofing up. I just cant believe the fact that blossom was being introduced. Its not that I do not know blossom before. But yeah getting introduced again was a costly thrill. The group of frens around me just cant stop laughing at the series of events that was getting unfolded.
Many frens of mine got to know about my FOCUS today publicly. Then GA arranged a meet for all of us. GA planned a visit to sweet castle for a cup of coffee/cake. After an initial hesitation, blossom agreed to come with us. My senses were not able to believe the fact that it was actually happening as opposed to my usual scheme of things that happen in the metaphysical plane of thought. While, i deeply respect myself for my undying belief in the bliss of metaphysical state of my mind, today I realized the same happiness was possible in things of reality.
Again, life is full of surprises. I can vouch for that statement. My conversation with Blossom was centered around common topics like college, studies, CGPA and the like. Nevertheless, am very happy and thankful to GA, Bhris and Taria for standing by me all throughout the day. GA was simply superb in his actions today. He deserves a very loud and sound applause.
Let me try to capture my heart's feelings.
There was a renewed hope in me when I met her. Hope offered by blossom is beyond measure
A hope can ignite the sunken mind.
A Hope to go the extra mile.
A hope that offers positive outlook on life.
A hope that ensures that there is someone who you are accountable for.
A hope that brightens life like never before.
A hope that offers reasons to smile.
A hope that helps you keep going despite the fact that you know that you can't go. A hope that instills confidence in you.
A hope that reassures you.
The words of assurance from Taria and uncommitted statements from Bhris were the highlights of the day. I am feeling blessed to have frens like these who can take me to any heights. They mean a lot. I feel very elated that this day will go down in the personal history of Joseph Nirmal as a precious day. The future outcome of my FOCUS is not in my hands but I am glad that the spirit and strength of vibrant frenship is on my side to take me to great heights.
Thanks GA, Taria and Bhris. You guys are the best.
Once again it all started in a totally unanticipated way. I was as usual at my lazy best all throughout the day. Then, For some reason i was getting geared to go to college. My roommate had asked me to bring his camera for the teacher’s day function that was held at college. So, I got ready and left to college. At college, did some errand jobs to make the stage ready for the teachers day function and then this surprise comes up.
My close frens had shared about my FOCUS with this fren in the freshman year of college. Lets call him “Goodwill Angel”, in short GA. GA was at his best to help things happen the way my heart wished. Me, Bhris and Taria and a few other frens were standing down and blossom comes down after a gruelling session of class. GA started introducing her to us and everyone just couldn’t control their laughter for very obvious reasons.
Also, me being a great master of Goof ups, once again was at my best in goofing up. I just cant believe the fact that blossom was being introduced. Its not that I do not know blossom before. But yeah getting introduced again was a costly thrill. The group of frens around me just cant stop laughing at the series of events that was getting unfolded.
Many frens of mine got to know about my FOCUS today publicly. Then GA arranged a meet for all of us. GA planned a visit to sweet castle for a cup of coffee/cake. After an initial hesitation, blossom agreed to come with us. My senses were not able to believe the fact that it was actually happening as opposed to my usual scheme of things that happen in the metaphysical plane of thought. While, i deeply respect myself for my undying belief in the bliss of metaphysical state of my mind, today I realized the same happiness was possible in things of reality.
Again, life is full of surprises. I can vouch for that statement. My conversation with Blossom was centered around common topics like college, studies, CGPA and the like. Nevertheless, am very happy and thankful to GA, Bhris and Taria for standing by me all throughout the day. GA was simply superb in his actions today. He deserves a very loud and sound applause.
Let me try to capture my heart's feelings.
There was a renewed hope in me when I met her. Hope offered by blossom is beyond measure
A hope can ignite the sunken mind.
A Hope to go the extra mile.
A hope that offers positive outlook on life.
A hope that ensures that there is someone who you are accountable for.
A hope that brightens life like never before.
A hope that offers reasons to smile.
A hope that helps you keep going despite the fact that you know that you can't go. A hope that instills confidence in you.
A hope that reassures you.
The words of assurance from Taria and uncommitted statements from Bhris were the highlights of the day. I am feeling blessed to have frens like these who can take me to any heights. They mean a lot. I feel very elated that this day will go down in the personal history of Joseph Nirmal as a precious day. The future outcome of my FOCUS is not in my hands but I am glad that the spirit and strength of vibrant frenship is on my side to take me to great heights.
Thanks GA, Taria and Bhris. You guys are the best.
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