What 2009 has to offer?

its unfortunate to have the first post of 2009 on a very sad note. I am getting crushed by the pressures of my mind. Life is getting all the more mysterious and no reasons to smile. I am playing a big gamble with my life and I do not know the price I am going to pay for this. There are tonnes and tonnes of unanswered questions that need immediate answers or rather in Google way, solutions.

My feelings are getting crushed every day, every minute, every second. Life is getting harder and am not able to comprehend what is happening around me and in me. I am trying to take a long break to escape from this trauma that is haunting me but I do not find a place of retreat.

I believe in creation and therefore, I believe in GOD. I strongly believe that all my pains will one day be healed by my God who loves me more than anyone else on this earth. My wisdom is diminishing and I am emotionally unstable. Criticisms around me are ever increasing. My spirit is reeling under the tremendous pressure caused by problems both self imposed and imposed by others.

Where will I go? What will I do? Who will rescue me? Who will bring a smile on my face? When will all this pain get rid of me?

The Secret Santa Mania

Secret Santa game is not one of the game or fun activity I can associate myself with. I am forced to play or a part of it. I believe in Christmas as the birth of Christ, but I do not believe in the concept of Santa and its related attributes. 

There could have been a Santa who went around giving gifts, sometime back in history, but I am not able to get the same feel now. I am not able to stand the emotions people show when they get a new gift or when they do not get a gift. I am sick of the  "So Cute" expressions and the fake "Hugs" these people do to eachother. 

I am particulary unable to bear all the chaos that is happening around me by a group of girls who sit near my work station. Its too fake and unwanted attention. 

A Race with Time.

I have been off blogging quiet for sometime. Its not that I ran out of interest to blog or not that I dint have anything to write but not in a frame of mind to write what my eternally perplexed mind is thinking. A lot has happened in life since I wrote the last blog entry. 

I am in a constant race with Time that is trying to take me to a different world altogether. 

A world that may not have any struggles or competions.

A world that will not have irritating people around me. 

A world that may not have lures of unwanted fantasy. 

A world that may not have any pain caused by love or lack of love. 

A world that will not require you to constantly engage yourself in a battle to reign supreme in the societly. 

A world that can alleviate the Ego of the heart. 

A world where you feel that you are respected without you having to do anything to get respect. A world that gives you a divine peace of mind and a feeling of contentment at heart. 

I am embarked on a journey into a world where I can get all that I want to. I wish I get there despite any amount of hassle I come across in the path. 

Constructive weekend....

The weekend of Nov 29 and 30 was one of the best weekends at hyderabad. There was lots of constructive activities done by me and Jeff. We moved into the new place at Al-Hasnath Colony, Tolichowki. The house which is now in the process of transformation into a home is a very dearly place. Its huge, posh and very spacious. 

We have invested quiet to lot to make this house a home. Life that looked gloomy is now bright with the new house and the new home mate. There was hard labour put in loading and unloading goods at the new house, but nevertheless, the fruit of the hard labour is peace of mind and happiness of heart. 

My happiness will be fully complete once my dearly wish comes true. 

The potter mania.... :(

I was so totally upset with one of the advertisements for the newest book by JK Rowling in the Harry Potter series. I am not able to comprehend what in that book drives people mad and crazy that they run after that book and the movie. 

I am proud to say that I dont like that movie or the book. Some wild fiction of magic and sorcerery that could have taken place some indefinite time ago is glorified and given a glossy touch to attract young minds. 

Its pathetic to see young minds succumbing to the lures of this unnatural fantasy. Young minds should be taught the art of creativity and social thinking, not witch craft and magic. We are doing injustice to the next generation of kids by amalgamating their minds with stuff like this. 

When will this world change. 

A true Indian in ME

The war against terror thats going on now in Bombay has sent me a clarion call to break my silence on the issue of patriotism and love towards my mother land. I can't see my nation suffering at the clutches of evil elements viz terror. The true Indian inside me suffers a deep anguish of heart and mind to see all that is happening around. 

I was particularly grieved at the killing of the ATS Cheif Hemant karkare, NSG chief commando Unni krishna and all the brave hearts who have thrown away their lives to the glory of the nation. 

I am a true Indian. My drops of tears will definitely be answered one day. That day will redefine Indian Sovereignity and peace will prevail in this lovely nation. 

The mystery behind music

There is a hidden mystery that I am not sure if the human mind can unravel. Right from my childhood days, I am very skeptical in my approach towards music. The basis of music is all divine is what we have been told and that is the worldly belief. I believe it too that music is divine. But, its a divine mystery. 

Music is a very powerful magnetic weapon that can bring a change in some one's mood in a fraction of a second. How is this possible. The greatest music minds of all time have something different in them. Its either being over spiritual or being over antispiritual. At the end, both are greats in music.  I would love to know the mystery behind music. 

I have a different kind of disorder when it comes to music. I dream about music and would actually love to listen to music of any kind. however, something holds me back from getting me closer to music. I am not able to figure out what the force exactly is that is holding me back from moving closer to music. 

A mood of resignation sinks in deep into my mind. I am tempted to think profusely about this. But this is one of many questions that I dont find an answer.