Random scribblings

There is a magical feel of renewed hope which I know for sure could go deep into a pit again. its just matter of time before I come to terms with accepting harsh reality. Life has been very good to me from day 1 of my life. But, I was the problem and I failed to appreciate the beauty of life. there have been innumerable number of trials and tribulations in my life and they do have its own impact on me. But, that shouldn't be deterring me from appreciating the beauty of god's work in my life. In retrospective, I do realise that I have never been able to follow Jesus as I as much as I would love to follow him for so many reasons. I find myself a stupid that I don't travel in sync with his plans for my life and keep complaining that he doesn't heed to my plans for my life. I see so many great human beings around me who did great things for Christ like the blessed mother Theresa. I'm ashamed for having not changed my life to tune with his plans for me. its a misery by itself. I have unusual amount of optimism in life when it comes to things that are very close to my heart. most often, this optimism does fail by a huge margin.