The potter mania.... :(

I was so totally upset with one of the advertisements for the newest book by JK Rowling in the Harry Potter series. I am not able to comprehend what in that book drives people mad and crazy that they run after that book and the movie. 

I am proud to say that I dont like that movie or the book. Some wild fiction of magic and sorcerery that could have taken place some indefinite time ago is glorified and given a glossy touch to attract young minds. 

Its pathetic to see young minds succumbing to the lures of this unnatural fantasy. Young minds should be taught the art of creativity and social thinking, not witch craft and magic. We are doing injustice to the next generation of kids by amalgamating their minds with stuff like this. 

When will this world change. 

A true Indian in ME

The war against terror thats going on now in Bombay has sent me a clarion call to break my silence on the issue of patriotism and love towards my mother land. I can't see my nation suffering at the clutches of evil elements viz terror. The true Indian inside me suffers a deep anguish of heart and mind to see all that is happening around. 

I was particularly grieved at the killing of the ATS Cheif Hemant karkare, NSG chief commando Unni krishna and all the brave hearts who have thrown away their lives to the glory of the nation. 

I am a true Indian. My drops of tears will definitely be answered one day. That day will redefine Indian Sovereignity and peace will prevail in this lovely nation. 

The mystery behind music

There is a hidden mystery that I am not sure if the human mind can unravel. Right from my childhood days, I am very skeptical in my approach towards music. The basis of music is all divine is what we have been told and that is the worldly belief. I believe it too that music is divine. But, its a divine mystery. 

Music is a very powerful magnetic weapon that can bring a change in some one's mood in a fraction of a second. How is this possible. The greatest music minds of all time have something different in them. Its either being over spiritual or being over antispiritual. At the end, both are greats in music.  I would love to know the mystery behind music. 

I have a different kind of disorder when it comes to music. I dream about music and would actually love to listen to music of any kind. however, something holds me back from getting me closer to music. I am not able to figure out what the force exactly is that is holding me back from moving closer to music. 

A mood of resignation sinks in deep into my mind. I am tempted to think profusely about this. But this is one of many questions that I dont find an answer. 

Identity Crisis.

I have to lot to write. My struggles are increasing day by day and I do not find a place of solace. The internal conflicts of mind are at its best. I am on a journey in search of my dreams. My dreams only lead me to wilderness and darkness, however, my end point will be very bright. Thats what my conscience keeps constantly tells me.

I am going through a major identity crisis that is basically belittling myself. My heart wants to do something, but I am not able to do what it says. I strongly believe in what my heart says. But, in this case I am not able to oblige my heart's plea to do what it says.

My identity that takes its pride in being vocal about anything my heart says has fallen down deep into dumps. I don't find a way out to get out of this trivial condition of total imbalance between my mind and heart.

My priorities have not taken any backseat. That's something I am really happy about. A passing phase in life, full of commotion. All the faculties of my body and mind are in utter chaos. They are trying their best to reorganize themselves. They are battling against all the odds of nature to establish their supremacy over nature.

I would be glad about the result of this battle. I fail to understand that these battles are there forever till a human life passes away.

Life always teaches a lesson at every instance.

The big CAT.

My mind is burdened with a lot of things that lies ahead of me. This Sunday is the the day to test my aptitude skills. Yes the Big CAT is round the corner haunting me with its good luck to pursue my studies in the CREAMY institutes of the nation. Lets see how it goes. I am not bothered too much about the results. Life will move on and on and on.......

I wish to take a break............

I wish to take a break from work though I hardly work

I wish to take from life though I hardly live. 

I wish to rejuvenate my senses, though am a lot sensible, 

I wish to cherish freedom, though I often misuse it. 

I would to take a break from the monotony that buries me deep into earth every minute. I wish to go to a place where there is no pain, pressure, no demands, no back stabbings, no tears, no disappointments, no deadlines, no hate and this wish list goes on the like the wall of China. 

These are not utopian wishes. Very much possible worldy wishes. If these are not available for me to enjoy in this current world, I will then have to create my own world to see these values and virtues. 

I am sick of several things going on around me in both work and non work life. I wish the clock to tick fast so that I can leave my work place early. I come in to office blank and leave office back blank. There is no qualitative improvement in my levels of intelligence owing to the work I do. 

I am sick of the dumb style of talk people, namely my colleagues, have. I am particulary put off with their fancies and priorities. But, I respect them to the core for what they think, however, never subscribe myself to their views and their fantasies. Their over emphasis on more worldly virtues and values, desires, interests drives me mad. I hope not to delve deep into the nitty gritties of it in any of my post. 

I am different, I love to be different. I am not a monomaniac. I just don't want to be over worldly but also comprehend on life beyond this world. I am not a fan of anything or anyone. I love the imaginary life that I wish to lead. I am not patriotic. I don't have great levels of attachment to anything. I respect relationships and always give my fullest in it. 

Rise up

here is a brilliant song of yves that goes on like this..... 

My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow, so high!
My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow, so high!
Eh... eh...

Rise up,
Don't falling down again
Rise up,
Love like I broke the chains

I tried to fly a while so high
Direction: sky!
I tried to fly a while so high
Direction: sky!

My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow, so high!
My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow, so high!
My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow, so high!
My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow, so high!
Eh...

Rise up, rise up, rise up, rise up
We'll be the game
Rise up, rise up, rise up, rise up
For my mind and my brain

'Cause I tried to fly a while so high
Direction: sky!
I tried to fly so high
Direction: sky!

My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow, so high!
My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow, so high!
My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow, so high!
My dream is to fly
Over the rainbow, so high!
Eh... eh... eh... eh... eh...

A highly motivating song that can actually elevate your dull spirit to greater heights. On many occasions, when I am down, mostly always, I listen to this song to bring my spirit back to its place. This song is so magical that rekindles the fire to glow to greater heights that it can reach even the rainbow. 

Fascinations - I

I have a few irresistible fascinations in my life from childhood days. One dearly place close to my heart is close to our country as well. The island nation of Srilanka. I love the nation for the rich culture it has not to meniton the civil war that's going on to establish supremacy between the races namely Sinhalese Vs Tamils. Though there is enough history to prove that Tamils are also native inhabitants of the nation, I do not buy the idea of Tamil state that could be headed by the leader of the group that's  battling with Sinhala Army(I wont call Srilanka army). 

Let me get out of the political chaos and into some thing interesting. I wish not to see Srilanka as a tourist destination or a holiday spot. I wish my life to be interwoven with Srilankan culture. The languages spoken there, both Tamil and Sinhala are so pleasing to ears and I never get bored watching to YT videos in Sinhala. The language is a magical mesmerizer and glues to your ears. 

I love the Srilankan girls for the dress code they have. The 'midis' or the skirts as we may call it to be, is a master piece to showcase the beauty of creativity in human mind to decode the beauty of women. Beauty is complex and that is the reason I am forced to use the word decode. 

The Srilankan names are so beautiful that I don't find the right adjective to qualify them. I should ask Shakespeare to be born again to write a piece of literature on Srilankan Names. 

Another fascination I have is the heavenly paradise on Earth, the caribbean isles. Its definiely apt to call it a paradise. I can discuss the elegance of these islands in another post some time later. It's time for me break now to Lunch. poor stomach is yelling to be filled with some stuff... :(

Encounter with Life

My encounter with Life. I was traveling through a dark forest that is known for the pride it has due to the wild flora and fauna it has. The forest is so dense that I am not able to figure out what exactly lies ahead. Wild animals are constantly threatening to make me their prey and I am forever on my heels to save my life. I am running aimlessly and with no sense of any direction and without any clue of a potential prospect in the wilderness of the dark forest.

The worst part is that in this journey of saving my life, I also look out for the meaning of my existence. I don't consider my existence as an accident that happened some 21 yrs ago. Life is highly enigmatic and I do not know what approach to foster to unravel the mystery behind our existence.

Battles in life

I am a prey to the bug of the three lettered Acronym based exams like CAT, XAT, MAT. I am running in a race to secure a secure life which is defined in the parlance of a 6 digit salary or equivalent in INR, better recognition in the job, a prospective luxurious life ahead. My thoughts are paralyzed by the lures of life that the posh world markets to be pursued by all.

All the exams test the aptitude abilities of a student and a few other areas to deem him/her fit to be in the modern corporate jungle. I some how can't do them as its expected to be done. The reasons are simple. I am good in technical math and higher level of math but the spark is missing in basic math. It's not a mistake to feel bad about.

Its sad that I yield to the worldly demands to prove my mettle in several areas. Even if I lose these battles I will not bother because its just a battle lost and the war is still in my hands and i will reign supreme in the war.

A few Likes and dislikes

I am a passionate dreamer.
I love living in dreams.
I love turning dreams into reality.
I am always allergic to others obsession to their likes. Some are curious about bikes, some about some TV shows, some about a book. Those are my turn offs.
I love to ride a bullet though am not crazy about it.
I love solitude
I love people who set their priorities right and not people with misplaced priorities
I love diplomacy in relationships
I love hypocrisies at the same time I hate ppl who don't admit they are not hypocrites
I love the idea of a kid. A true meaning of one's life. A lasting pleasure that constantly sets your emotions in motion. A reason to come home soon after work. A heavenly pleasure of a lovely hug. A priceless moment of expression. A family's unique identity.
I hate people who say they don't want kids.
I hate arguments
I hate ego expression at its peak. I hate hyper inflation of EGO
I love equilibrium of mind.
I hate hyper excitement.
I don't like being level headed.
I hate women who have a liking towards men based on the levels of intelligence.
I hate submissive women.
I like people who respects others feelings though they differ.
I hate style crazy individuals.

Pursuit of constructiveness

I am not doing justice to personal blogging if I do not write a post on this topic. In the last 18 odd months I have not done anything constructive in life. A few heart fulfilling things I have after coming to Hyderabad are really few and just a hand full...

1)My friends who have redefined Love and care, the way I look at life, a new dimension to living.
2)My place of worship. A place that I differ on several doctrinal differences, but nevertheless a source of temporary peace to attain eternal peace by understanding divinity and GOD.
3)My home at Tolichowki, its a bliss redefined. Though not so greatly maintained, its free from Chaos. Its a dearly place, that has witnessed all my emotions. Yay to aaaaaaaaaah :(. The place deserves a special mention in my likes.
4)Cooking memories that just not give a food for thought, but a thought that urges to relive every moment to its fullest.

All this add colors to my life in its own ways. But, one person who redefined the discipline of constructive usage of time is Cyrus, a friend, whom I got to know lately, but a genuine mind brimming with brilliance and imbibed intelligence. A simple man with simple desires(atleast from My point in view) with an extreme practical approach to life and master at solving life's equations.

I always feel that there is certain element of wavelength match or rather "CLICK" as we fondly call it. He is one of the most patient listener I have met in my life. Ofcourse not to mention it, but a friend in need.

Off late, I have been puzzled in my disastrous mind about several biblical issues and other worldly beliefs that has been opposed by the Bible. Also, the concept of catholic vs not so catholic(as I would call it) or Protestant(as history and world may call it) divide has been ringing in my ears with several unanswered questions that are highly debatable.

The right platform to discuss these issues were not decided on land, but on air, on a trip back to my adopted home Hyderabad from Chennai.

The creative architect of this platform is Cyrus. The discussions are really vital to strengthen spiritual life and also satiates my EGO that I have learned something new. In the process, my super ego gets strengthened. Thanks to Freud and Anna freud for teaching me how the mind works.

The desire to express was given a practical solution of expression in a mutually decided forum like talks by Cyrus.

His attention to details and background work on the topics is simply mindboggling. He is a true champion of life. My mind is clear now on several issues and I am at peace.

Contemplations

I contemplate on several things going on in my life. Majority of my time at home is a time that I can never forget as it helps me analyze myself and understand the demands of life in all its areas. So, there is nothing as boring time at home.

I engage my mind in several constant battles that stem out of a whole range of issues. I do a cleanup of nagging issues thats going and try to find a solution. Though, several times, I fail to find a solution to my problems, I never allow my problems to dominate my mind. Problems have to take a back seat in my solitude. I poetically call it the "Bliss of Solitude" as told by William Wordsworth.

The creativity of mind is at its best when I am alone. The bliss of my heart is at its peak and the levels of energy are elevated to a different plane altogether. I love being alone, I love the serenity of mind when I am alone. My senses are in equilibrium with my life feeling rejuvenated.

The cells of my body are super efficient, the brain movements are pulverizing. There are a lot of debates in my mind about my existence and several other components of this social life. There are several occasions where I am not able to compromise on several things happening. I atleast come to a conclusion that I am sensitive to such issues where several others care to bother about.

My Social quotience is high and I am a socially sensitive person. I can't solve all the problems of the society but I always feel that I have a mission to find solutions to socially pathogenic issues.

However, that is my passion and can't be my profession. I see the true Joe in me when I am alone contemplating on several issues.

The weekend of Nov 8th and 9th.

Weekends are something I long for right from the beginning of the week. Sounds Crazy!!!! But true. This saturday was a usual saturday in many ways. As usual, I dint get good deep sleep like that happens on any weekday. However, I forced myself to sleep till around 10 Am.

Was puzzled what to do then. Had to decide between going to Secunderabad to buy mixie or to be at home to cook. Last, my ultimate passion and joy, my love, COOKING reigned supreme.

The refrigerator was yelling with the burden of three Kgs of Mutton in the deep freezer. So, the correct time came to give some life to the deep frozen meat. I took it out and immersed in water to reduce the chill and later cut it ready to be cooked.

Rushed to Reliance Fresh to make some shopping. Niky came home and we started cooking at around 11.30.

For a long time, milkmaid has been somthing that I had always wanted to try out. Saturday was the 'D' day to try it out. I bought a pack of milkmaid and came home.

My wonderful EEEEEEEEEEEEh:) Roommate Mr. Giftson, made some superstrong coffee out of it and we both relished the coffeee...

The calling bell alarmed me that some one had come. I opened the door to receive Niky in and offered some Coffee to her.

Then our herculean task of cooking began. The menu for the day was
1)Bottlegourd Sambhar
2)Mutton Fry
3)Carrot fry.

We first began with mutton. It was a tough time cooking mutton. The chopping part of mutton pieces was the toughest. Then, I kept the mutton in the cooker for a few mins to make it soft. Then we had made the masala and all the necessary stuff to cook a deep mutton fry.

Once this was over, we made the sambhar. The sambhar was brilliant and mouth watering. The final part came and we made rice.

At around 2 we where very hungry and there was nothing to eat. I opened the refrigrator to take the strawberry pudding and we had it. That kinda brought the appetite down. nevertheless it was a king size lunch to relish both in stomach and at heart for a long time.

The Secret Smile

I have a reason to smile and the best compliment a fren/person on any ground of relationship I share with them is this "I have a reason to smile because of you". Smile is a unique human experience that has been depriving many and I am not any one to escape it. A simple movement of jaws that make you feel happy and relieved. I am not getting into the types of smiles like a sly smile, a jerky smile or a smirk on the face.

The ingenuity of the smile is witnessed by the conscience of mind and the peace that engulfs your heart. Your life is stilled for a second to witness this special moment. Your brain records this in your memory lobe to bring it back to you when you are down.

There are several biological systems in the body that work in synchronization with one another. This brief explanation of a smile should suffice to understand the depth of this post. Smile is not a daytoday happening in my life. Smile is very costly and a high priced one that takes its own time to make its appearance in my life.

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!

I now have a reason to SMILE. I am not sure if this reason is shortlived or eternal. But, I now have a genuine reason to smile.

There are a very few and dear things that make me merry. A few ones are the song 'Unnai Kandane' from the movie Paarijaatham, the song 'Ooru Sanam' and a select few. The latest addition to this list has come. Yay....

The quote "Happiness and grief are always Juxtaposed in the game called Life" is partially true.

A journey to eternity.....

Reaching eternity during life is something that I want to achieve. But how to achieve 'Eternity' when you are physically Alive? that's a million dollar question that often occupies my mind. So, I need to redefine eternity from its dictionary definition or rather customize it to my whims and fancies of life.

Life has been treating me very harshly. There is pain all over. Its playing a very bad hide and seek game. I reminded to think Life is a game where I am the important player. But, In my life, I am always made the person who is the least important. Thanks to all who make me feel so.

If you show a glass or bottle of Milk to a crying baby, you can see a smile on its face. If you take the milk away it you can only see tears of pity. That's happening in my life for a long time.

I am now leading a meaningless life. I don't know the reason Why am I working at present...... Doing totally that I am not interested and not paying full attention too. I am not doing justice being here for no genuine reason. Why am I being a parasite who is enjoying all the pleasures and luxuries of work and not contributing anything constructive... The corporate world still values my dumb contribution but I do not value it. This is so totally 'UnJoe' ishhhhhhhhhhh :(

life among a group of people with misplaced priorities make it all the more worse. The meaning of relationships and the value of relationships is at a bizzare casuality. The daily reality is undigestible to take. Yet I am leading out of the job I do. I tried to reason out this several times and all the times I end up with out an answer.

My life is simple
My world is small bt
My dreams are big
I want to fly high
Fly higher with Passion
Enjoy the delicacies of LIFE
I can't see life the way it is
I want to see it the way I want to
Hurts wounds healed
breaking all the stereotypes
Develop a unique identity
Value the meaning of relationships

I am on a eternal journey to touch upon all that is happiness in life. I can't take pain and sorrows. I am born to win orelse I will fail the cross questioning of my conscience.

Eternity looks like a dive into a river from the top of the world's highest waterfalls. I am into it and I will relish doing it. Nothing can deter me from my progress.

The corporate debacle

I am a prey to the corporate debacle on several occasions. From the time I joined work, my life has been marred by several incidents which I would like not to remember as they are categorically against my ideologies.

I want to be different in what I do. This may the want of a lot people in their lives too but I am sure I do not want to be a stereotype in handling issues. I beg to differ to accept certain terminologies used in my place of work. The major one is 'Team Meeting'. Its a chaotic place where everyone tries to project their ego and wants to nullify others ego expression.

If you do not take part in this Ego contest, you are branded an 'Introvert.' I have been at the receiving end many times. I don't understand how expressing your hyper inflated Ego makes you an extrovert and a team player. There is something fundamentally wrong in our perception of things. When will all this change for better.

Not allowing you to be your normal self and bugging you to speak some absolute crap is not team dynamics and participation. The most silent person can still have very strong thoughts which are workable.

Lets not massacre the identity of a person by branding him/her with bad names. Lets break this stereotype of expression. Expression can be in any way or form, but the impact of expression is more important infact the most important than the way of expression.

Will the current corporate world change...........................?????????

An answerless question.

Fantasy vs Reality behind Blogging.

The concept of Blogging has been a great fascination to me since the time I got to know about blogging. The various reasons behind blogging kind of made me think many times before I should even write one post to my blog. However, I was clear in my intentions behind blogging and that's the reason your are reading this post.

The fantasy:

I am a person who loves to lead my life in dreams, the way I wanted it to be and not the way it is in now to me. I think a lot metaphysically in order to come to a conclusion about several issues of life and its fancies. The fantasies have always lured me a lot than reality as reality is very hard to accept. This extreme affinity towards fantasy is one of the strong reasons for me to write a blog with all that I wish I could be, whereas I am not. There is a link between fantasy and metaphysics.

A person goes to a metaphysical state of mind only when he/she is not contented with actual reality.

Metaphysics is just an offshoot of fantasy. If you had read 'Veronica decides to die,' you would fully agree to my views on fantasy. You got to be a MAD person to enjoy life the way you want it to be as an insane person does not have any rules or regulations for his behavior. So, under the pretext of being mentally ill or insane, you can be true self. But, this behavior is socially not approved and that is the reason you tend to lead a life in imagination.

Blogging is one way to express your latent fantasies that you like to pursue in life. It showcases one's pent up and unsatisfied feelings. Its satiates the ego of a thirst mind seeking ways to sooth itself from pain and anguish.

The Reality:

Real life is a diametric opposite of the lures of fantasy. From a personal point in view, life has taught me harsh lessons. This remains me of an old saying that 'Life is a teacher that teaches you how to enjoy it.'

while I pay so much importance to fantasy, I should also pay importance to the source of Fantasy which is reality.